From Shame to Success: Transforming Trauma into Triumph with Bekah George

Jim Burgoon: 00:00:01

Welcome to Grace and the Grind, the podcast where we dive deep into the journeys of heart centered and purpose driven leaders and entrepreneurs.

Jim Burgoon: 00:00:10

We're here to equip and encourage you on your journey.

Jim Burgoon: 00:00:13

So let's get started and find the grace within the grind.

Jim Burgoon: 00:00:17

This is Grace in the Grind.

Jim Burgoon: 00:00:20

And now your host, Jim Burgoon.

: 00:00:24

Welcome to this episode of Grace in the Grind where we're here for Christians in business or Christian entrepreneurs to encourage, to empower and to equip you to do the work that God has called you to.

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And today I have a really good friend of mine on the show with me.

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Her name is Becca George and I'm going to let her introduce to you who she is.

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Becca, will you tell us who you are?

Becca George: 00:00:45

Of course.

Becca George: 00:00:45

Hi Jim.

Becca George: 00:00:46

Thank you so much for having me.

Becca George: 00:00:47

I'm so excited to be here.

Becca George: 00:00:49

So I am a mental health therapist.

Becca George: 00:00:51

That's what I do full time.

Becca George: 00:00:53

I am also a mom to a beautiful, almost 15 year old girl.

Becca George: 00:00:58

I guess she's a young woman now.

Becca George: 00:01:00

Teenagers are hard, but so fun.

Becca George: 00:01:02

I am a coach as well, so I do a lot of coaching and really love to help people to come up out of the pit of shame.

Becca George: 00:01:09

So I've studied shame the last few years and I talk a lot about how to overcome shame, limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, things of that nature.

Becca George: 00:01:17

So that's my passion, is to really help people to be able to step into the life that God created them to live using those mental health techniques I have learned in the last 15, almost 20 years in the field.

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Nice.

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Awesome.

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So this is going to be something of, of very much close to my heart, like a conversation because my wife and I are very much into the mental health stuff and faith.

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Because my wife is diagnosed with some stuff.

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I actually have a diagnosis of CPTSD as well.

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And so with that being said, let's start this ball rolling with, with a question in, in mental health and faith because you said you're calling people to live the life, God want them and you're a mental health counsel.

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How do you really merge the two?

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Because there's certain sects of Christianity that say don't go and do medicines and don't do mental health and then there's other ones that says do it all the time.

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So where do you stand and what challenges have you faced?

Becca George: 00:02:07

Such a great question.

Becca George: 00:02:09

I think that God gives us wisdom, right?

Becca George: 00:02:11

The Bible literally says wisdom cries loud in the streets.

Becca George: 00:02:13

And so I think that there's this wisdom that says like it's God created us to have knowledge and understanding.

Becca George: 00:02:20

And there is a lot of truth in science.

Becca George: 00:02:23

Right.

Becca George: 00:02:23

So a lot of times Christians say that science and God that they have to oppose each other.

Becca George: 00:02:28

And I say the opposite.

Becca George: 00:02:29

I say that they actually, that science will back up the word of God and that science will back up with God says.

Becca George: 00:02:35

And so they, they do so often.

Becca George: 00:02:36

And a lot of times I will talk about the fact that we, we don't just need spiritual things, we also need physical things.

Becca George: 00:02:44

If I were to just say, hey, I'm not going to eat food, food for this amount of time, I'm only going to fast and pray for six months, I would die because we have to have food.

Becca George: 00:02:52

And so there has to be physical component.

Becca George: 00:02:55

And because we're, we are physical, we are mind, body and spirit.

Becca George: 00:03:00

So I think that it is all three things and it's not just one.

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So what are some of the challenges you face like with Christians who want help but are unsure of the mental health side of it?

Becca George: 00:03:12

Yeah, so a lot of Christians struggle with trusting people with their, with their mental health or talking about their mental health and things of that nature because they are afraid of indoctrination or they are afraid that there's going to be something that is ungodly about it.

Becca George: 00:03:28

And so that's why I always suggest finding a therapist who does love the Lord, because I do think that there is some truth to finding someone who's going to speak life to you and going to speak God's word versus something that is opposite.

Becca George: 00:03:40

So I really have had to help Christians through that to say, hey, there is some wisdom in finding people who know God's word and can do things in line with God's word.

Becca George: 00:03:50

But there are some Christians who believe that everything is a demon.

Becca George: 00:03:52

And that's really the biggest issue that I've come across is that they believe that everything needs deliverance.

Becca George: 00:03:57

And there is a place for deliverance.

Becca George: 00:03:58

I believe absolutely.

Becca George: 00:03:59

There's a place in time where things are spiritual for sure.

Becca George: 00:04:02

But there's also a place in time where things are chemical, where things are biological, that they're physiological and there's an or behavioral.

Becca George: 00:04:09

Right.

Becca George: 00:04:09

It's something trauma based.

Becca George: 00:04:10

And so we can also, even though sometimes that can be spiritual, also helping people to understand that there is a physical chemical component of it and that as long as you find someone you can trust that is not going to go opposite of God's word, that they can work together.

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I am so glad you said that because that's been my soapbox forever.

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Not everything needs to be delivered.

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And so if I had a soapbox, I put it out right now.

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Because some of it, you just need to really go through therapy.

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Like, I don't understand what the challenges of talking through it.

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Oh, my gosh.

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So.

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So we're hitting here.

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So this goes into.

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You said something really important.

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It's.

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They lack trust.

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And so I want to hear your thing because you deal with shame.

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I know you have a big story behind shame and stuff, and we want to pull some of that story out.

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And I want to know, really, with the lack of trust, how does that coincide with the shame, Same shame story that you tell yourself.

Becca George: 00:05:02

Yeah.

Becca George: 00:05:03

So a lot of times, a lot of what we do is out of a lens of shame or freedom, one or the other.

Becca George: 00:05:08

And I would say probably 90% of what we do is out of shame.

Becca George: 00:05:11

Honestly, I know that's a really high number.

Becca George: 00:05:12

But a lot of times our behavior is based in things that we have some kind of shame in.

Becca George: 00:05:16

I'm not good enough.

Becca George: 00:05:17

There's something wrong with me.

Becca George: 00:05:19

And so a lot of times people will struggle to really be honest.

Becca George: 00:05:23

Especially I've seen this with Christians a lot where they have the shame of, I sinned or I did something bad, or I did something that's opposite of God's word.

Becca George: 00:05:30

And so I can't open up and share about that.

Becca George: 00:05:33

So that's a really big fear.

Becca George: 00:05:34

There's also that fear of, is God going to stop loving me if I start, if I did these things?

Becca George: 00:05:39

And so there's some kind of power that the enemy holds over us by not speaking it right, by not saying it out loud.

Becca George: 00:05:46

And so with therapy, sometimes I still have to call people out and say, I don't think you're being entirely honest with me.

Becca George: 00:05:53

Or I think that there's something that you're afraid of with judgment.

Becca George: 00:05:55

And so there's something that's so beautiful when you finally find someone you trust enough to say, I'm going to just open up and say these things.

Becca George: 00:06:03

I'm just going to open up and say this and not be afraid of judgment or not be afraid of how I come across, but just share some of those things that I haven't even said out loud myself.

Becca George: 00:06:12

So I think that's really where shame holds you back, even in therapy.

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So why do you focus on shame like it's a passion of yours, so why is that your focus?

Becca George: 00:06:21

Yeah, so shame is so prevalent, and a lot of times people just don't understand it.

Becca George: 00:06:26

And I think it started for me with seeing how Many people were making decisions based in shame on my.

Becca George: 00:06:31

In my therapy practice.

Becca George: 00:06:32

So I would meet with people and they would.

Becca George: 00:06:34

People would continue to say, I don't want to do these things, but I keep doing, doing them.

Becca George: 00:06:38

Like a pattern to behavior was being cyclical.

Becca George: 00:06:40

So they were continuing in these same cycles.

Becca George: 00:06:42

And they were saying, I don't even want to do this.

Becca George: 00:06:44

I don't even want to be laying next to this person.

Becca George: 00:06:46

I don't even want to be avoiding this trauma.

Becca George: 00:06:48

I don't want to be cutting myself or hurting myself or drinking or eating too much.

Becca George: 00:06:52

I don't want to do these things.

Becca George: 00:06:53

And yet I am.

Becca George: 00:06:54

And I started really thinking about it and I'm like, I think this is shame based.

Becca George: 00:06:58

I think this is because you have some sort of shame that you're living in and you're making these decisions based in that shame.

Becca George: 00:07:04

And so I started studying and started thinking about reading about it, started praying about it, and realize there are so many stories in the Bible that show the same cycle of shame keeps them away from the father, shame keeps them stuck in a place that is unhealthy.

Becca George: 00:07:20

And then I started looking at my own life and realizing that I was in this victim mentality because I wanted to stay there.

Becca George: 00:07:28

That was something that I felt connected to of this victim mentality.

Becca George: 00:07:32

And it was because I was.

Becca George: 00:07:33

I had so much shame that I didn't think I deserved freedom.

Becca George: 00:07:37

I didn't think I deserved the love of God.

Becca George: 00:07:39

And I realized that the more that I believed that I didn't deserve it, the more I was running to the nastiness of the world.

Becca George: 00:07:46

And so that's when I started realizing we do things that are so contrary to our value system, to what we really want to, what actually serves us based on shame.

Becca George: 00:07:56

And so that's when I got really passionate about it and started working on shame.

Becca George: 00:08:00

And as soon as I started addressing the shame in my life, everything started coming into place in so many different ways.

Becca George: 00:08:06

And I had no idea that these things were connected to shame.

Becca George: 00:08:09

So that's where that was birthed for me.

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So with the victim mentality, how did you overcome that?

Becca George: 00:08:16

Honestly, it was a lot of prayer.

Becca George: 00:08:17

So there was a moment in my life where I felt like God came to me.

Becca George: 00:08:21

It's a long story, but I had a history of a lot of abuse and domestic violence and poor relationships and things like that.

Becca George: 00:08:28

And I was over £300 at the time.

Becca George: 00:08:31

And I just hated myself.

Becca George: 00:08:32

I absolutely hated myself.

Becca George: 00:08:33

And there was a time where I couldn't even look in the mirror.

Becca George: 00:08:37

I refused to look in the mirror.

Becca George: 00:08:38

I refused to see myself.

Becca George: 00:08:39

I had so much shame that I hated everything about myself.

Becca George: 00:08:43

And there was this moment where I feel like the Holy Spirit came to me and he spoke to me and he said, do you want to be made well?

Becca George: 00:08:50

And there's a story in the Bible where the invalid was sick for 30 years, and Jesus came and said, do you want to be made well?

Becca George: 00:08:57

And I never understood that Scripture, because I'm like, if you've been sick for 30 years, of course you want to be made well.

Becca George: 00:09:02

And.

Becca George: 00:09:02

But in that moment when the Holy Spirit asked me that, I realized healing is hard, and it takes a lot of courage and a lot of pain.

Becca George: 00:09:10

And so that's when I started realizing, like, okay, Lord, I don't want to.

Becca George: 00:09:14

I don't want to resonate with my victimhood anymore.

Becca George: 00:09:17

And once I step into this new vision of me and this new version of me, the healed version, I can no longer claim those things, which means that every bad decision I make in my life, I can no longer claim was because of that or everything that blows up in my face or doesn't work out or relationship that doesn't happen or poor choice I make.

Becca George: 00:09:35

So then I have to take accountability.

Becca George: 00:09:37

So I started deciding in that moment.

Becca George: 00:09:39

I said, yes, Lord, I want to be made well.

Becca George: 00:09:41

And it was like scales fell from my eyes, and I saw the world, I saw myself, I saw God so much different.

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So then how did.

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So with you being an entrepreneurial, You're a coach, you're a consultant, things like that, on top of being a therapist.

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So you've got the two dual roles.

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So when the scales started falling off and you started experiencing this freedom, how has that changed your role in the entrepreneurial space?

Becca George: 00:10:04

It's changed a lot because of my belief in myself.

Becca George: 00:10:07

So I actually was not an entrepreneur before that happened.

Becca George: 00:10:09

I was just strictly a therapist.

Becca George: 00:10:11

Worked for someone else, did a little bit of freelance stuff on the side, but it was very small because I didn't believe in myself.

Becca George: 00:10:16

I didn't believe that I was even good at my job, even though I'm an excellent therapist.

Becca George: 00:10:21

I didn't believe it, and I didn't have the faith and the belief in myself to step out and do other things.

Becca George: 00:10:27

So not only did I step out and start my own private practice, but then I started a coaching company because I wanted to do other things outside of therapy.

Becca George: 00:10:34

Then I started a nonprofit organization.

Becca George: 00:10:37

Then I started an app specifically for women with food addiction.

Becca George: 00:10:41

And so I started, like, realizing and then consulting.

Becca George: 00:10:43

Right.

Becca George: 00:10:43

So I did all of these other things, and it's because I started believing in myself.

Becca George: 00:10:47

I started believing a different narrative about myself.

Becca George: 00:10:50

And that's when I started realizing I can do anything that I decide to do, which includes owning businesses, being wealthy, being able to work with people that I thought I could never work with because I didn't think I could ever help them.

Becca George: 00:11:02

Getting on stages now I speak on stages all over the world to be able to talk about things that I never thought that I could talk about.

Becca George: 00:11:09

So it changed every single aspect of my life.

Becca George: 00:11:11

Specifically, and very importantly, in the entrepreneurial.

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Space, man, that's night and day.

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And I've been privileged to hear you speak.

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So I'm very much gaining from the light that you have, and that's amazing.

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And let's go back to a little bit more in the story, because I think this is really important, where you talked about your abuse, your dv, your domestic violence, and your poor relationships.

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So what were some of the catalysts?

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Because I know some of our listeners are experiencing this, and they want to be an entrepreneur or they want to get help.

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What were some of the catalysts in that that got you to a place that says, I want to change?

Becca George: 00:11:47

I think it depends on the specific situation.

Becca George: 00:11:50

Right.

Becca George: 00:11:50

So, like, each situation have brought me to a different catalyst of change.

Becca George: 00:11:54

I would say the most recent one, the one where I was in a domestic violence situation, I was with him for a few years.

Becca George: 00:12:00

He almost killed me.

Becca George: 00:12:02

Had to get out and move across the country to start my life over again.

Becca George: 00:12:06

And that's when the healing began, because I realized I had been in poor relationships for so many years, and just in relationships where I was being abused and hurt and humiliated and all these things.

Becca George: 00:12:17

And I finally came to a place where my daughter actually spoke up, and I realized how much it was impacting her.

Becca George: 00:12:24

So one thing that I've learned about shame is that it is going to continue in your bloodline until slash unless you stop it.

Becca George: 00:12:31

And so when my.

Becca George: 00:12:32

When this man who I was with came to my daughter and said, can I marry your mom?

Becca George: 00:12:37

She was 8 or 9 years old.

Becca George: 00:12:39

And she looked at him and she said, absolutely not.

Becca George: 00:12:41

And he said, why not?

Becca George: 00:12:43

And she said, I hear her cry every night in her pillow.

Becca George: 00:12:47

Every single night.

Becca George: 00:12:48

And I don't think that's love.

Becca George: 00:12:49

And then she said, and also, you tell other women how much more pretty they are than my mom every day.

Becca George: 00:12:55

And I think whoever marries my mom should think she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

Becca George: 00:12:59

And it was in that moment something clicked for me.

Becca George: 00:13:01

And I started realizing I'm not hiding this from her like I thought I was.

Becca George: 00:13:04

I thought I was hiding the cries at night.

Becca George: 00:13:06

I didn't think she knew.

Becca George: 00:13:07

I didn't think she heard the way that he spoke to me.

Becca George: 00:13:09

Because I always try to evade it as much as possible around her or try to get around it.

Becca George: 00:13:14

And I started realizing this is going to impact her in the way she views men and the way that men treat her and the way she allows them to treat her.

Becca George: 00:13:22

And so that's.

Becca George: 00:13:23

That was that catalyst where I was like, I cannot continue this.

Becca George: 00:13:26

I cannot hand this down to her.

Becca George: 00:13:27

And I have to have her see me be strong enough to stand up and say, not today, Satan.

Becca George: 00:13:33

It's not happening.

Becca George: 00:13:33

And that was the catalyst for that change was my daughter.

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They tell you that.

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And I have two daughters as well.

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They are the.

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Some of the most insightful and truthful people.

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And perceptive.

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Like, you never know what they see.

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They're like, they're absolutely perceptive.

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They're like, how did you even thank God for daughters?

Becca George: 00:13:49

Yeah.

Becca George: 00:13:49

And sometimes I think God speaks through them.

Becca George: 00:13:51

Specifically, God says, oh, there's 100%.

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Yes.

Becca George: 00:13:54

Yeah.

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Yes.

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I've had that happen with my youngest.

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She's 13 now.

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With that being said, then are you breaking free?

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You've got the catalyst.

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Your daughter says, hey, boom.

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Lots of awakenings, lots of things.

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Looking back, is there any part that says today Becca would say, I would rewrite this part of my story?

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Or would you not want to go back and rewrite any of it?

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What do you say to that, Tim?

Becca George: 00:14:23

That's such a hard question, because I have never been the person who says that I would not change my mistakes.

Becca George: 00:14:29

I would.

Becca George: 00:14:30

I absolutely would.

Becca George: 00:14:32

But I have to believe that God's word says that all things work together for the good of those who love him.

Becca George: 00:14:37

And so I have to believe that those things were used for a reason and that God allowed them to be in my life for a reason.

Becca George: 00:14:44

But honestly, if you were to ask me honestly, and you said, hey, go back and change something, I would change multiple things.

Becca George: 00:14:49

I would.

Becca George: 00:14:49

So I got married really young after childhood abuse for many years as a kid.

Becca George: 00:14:54

And I already hated myself at 18 years old.

Becca George: 00:14:57

When I married this man, I was with him, turned 18, we got together, and we were married by the time we were barely 20.

Becca George: 00:15:02

And so I would go back and change the way that I did my marriage.

Becca George: 00:15:06

I would change, like, getting help and healing before I married.

Becca George: 00:15:11

I would change so many things about my story, but at the end of the day, I can't.

Becca George: 00:15:15

Right.

Becca George: 00:15:15

And so I would say I wish that I would have sought healing before I ever entered into any kind of serious covenant with another person.

: 00:15:22

And so I first and foremost thank you for the honesty and transparency in that, because most people were like, no, I'd never change anything because I would create who I am and choices I.

Becca George: 00:15:31

Would change if I could go back and do it.

: 00:15:33

So then that brings up a really interesting thought, though, which, again, I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs are in the entrepreneur space because they're driven by trauma, they're driven by some sort of challenge.

: 00:15:46

So with you being a therapist and being in all the entrepreneur spaces, do you find that to be true?

: 00:15:53

And if so, what is something you would say to them to help them be the healthier version of themselves?

Becca George: 00:16:01

Yeah, I would say probably 99% of therapists are in the field because of major trauma, and I would say probably 85%.

Becca George: 00:16:10

A rough number in my experience of entrepreneurs are because of some major life event that happened.

Becca George: 00:16:16

But so it's a very big number for sure.

Becca George: 00:16:19

And I think just telling people that they, they have a story, they do have a story, and that story has power, but I think also recognizing that they can become whoever they want to be and they don't have to hold on to that victim mentality.

Becca George: 00:16:32

So one thing I've learned a lot with people recently is that they feel like they share a story and that story goes viral or it gets them some big amount of attention, or it starts to get them into that entrepreneurial space and they feel like have to hold onto that forever.

Becca George: 00:16:47

They almost introduce themselves that way.

Becca George: 00:16:49

I don't know if you've ever met people like that, but they're like, hi, my name is Susie, and I was raped when I was this.

Becca George: 00:16:54

You know what I'm saying?

Becca George: 00:16:54

Like, they, they start with this major trauma and it's.

Becca George: 00:16:57

It's become their identity.

Becca George: 00:16:59

And so for me, I really, I love to help people to recognize, like, yes, this is a part of your story, but that's not who you are.

Becca George: 00:17:05

And we evolved past that.

Becca George: 00:17:07

And we show that there's so much more that God has placed inside of us besides just that.

Becca George: 00:17:11

So I think my encouragement to entrepreneurs is to say, let's move past that.

Becca George: 00:17:15

Yes, we can make that part of our story, but let's not make that our whole story.

: 00:17:19

I'm amen.

: 00:17:20

A hundred thousand fold on that one.

: 00:17:21

So we'll throw the amen hat in there.

: 00:17:24

So I, believe me, I've.

: 00:17:27

We can do a whole episode on how I feel about some of these stories that people tell anyway.

: 00:17:32

So then let's, let's shift into, as we start landing some of this plane here, what are some habits or systematic things that you do now that would help others?

: 00:17:42

Because obviously systems that are reproducible are helpful.

: 00:17:46

And so with that being said, what system or habits have you created in your life so that you don't go back to those places?

Becca George: 00:17:54

Man, for me, a big one is visualization, which I know a lot of people, a lot of Christians have a hard time with visualization because they think that it's manifestation.

Becca George: 00:18:02

And that's different for me.

Becca George: 00:18:04

Visualization.

Becca George: 00:18:05

And there's a spiritual component to manifestation.

Becca George: 00:18:07

Manifestation as well, but that's a whole different story.

Becca George: 00:18:09

But I think that with the visualization, what I do is I visualize the way that I want to show up.

Becca George: 00:18:14

I visualize the person that I want to be.

Becca George: 00:18:16

I've lost £130.

Becca George: 00:18:18

That's a big part of my getting past my shame, because my weight loss or my weight part of me has been a big part of my shame.

Becca George: 00:18:26

And I had to visualize myself when I was £330, I had to visualize myself as a healthy weight.

Becca George: 00:18:31

And I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting closer, visualizing myself every day.

Becca George: 00:18:35

That's what I do every single day is I wake up and I say, what would a fit person do in this scenario?

Becca George: 00:18:39

Would a fit person go and eat their feelings?

Becca George: 00:18:41

Or would a fit person who has a healthy relationship with food go for a walk when they're sad instead?

Becca George: 00:18:46

What would a healthy fit person do and how do they show up?

Becca George: 00:18:49

And it's not just in regards to my health, but also in regards to my relationships and my mental health.

Becca George: 00:18:54

I talk a lot now about dating after traumatic relationships and experiences.

Becca George: 00:18:59

And as a more healed person was that.

Becca George: 00:19:01

And so again with the dating, I have to ask myself every time I go on a date or talk to a man, what a healed version of me entertain this man.

Becca George: 00:19:08

And so really it is about trying to visualize that healed version of myself and stepping into that to become that person, even if I'm so far from that person.

Becca George: 00:19:17

When I was £330, I was nowhere near healthy, but yet I could visualize myself being that person.

Becca George: 00:19:24

So it's really about continuing to stop and asking yourself about every major decision.

Becca George: 00:19:28

Does this line up?

Becca George: 00:19:29

And is this congruent with my values and where I want to go?

Becca George: 00:19:32

That's the biggest habit for me.

: 00:19:34

I love it.

: 00:19:35

I love it.

: 00:19:35

So then let me ask you this last couple questions with the habits.

: 00:19:40

Do you find yourself falling back in and having to remind yourself of the habits, or have they become so ingrained that you just now naturally do it?

Becca George: 00:19:48

Jim, I have a hard time with this question because I've been told so many times as a coach and as a therapist that you should never let people see your weakness.

Becca George: 00:19:55

I hear this all the time.

Becca George: 00:19:56

But I am such a vulnerable person, and I believe that vulnerability is such a superpower.

Becca George: 00:20:01

And so I would have to say, yes, I absolutely struggle with falling back in, specifically in relationships.

Becca George: 00:20:06

That's a really hard part for me.

Becca George: 00:20:08

It's one of those things that I.

Becca George: 00:20:09

And food.

Becca George: 00:20:10

Those are the two hardest things for me where I find myself wanting to.

Becca George: 00:20:13

I'm sad or because I've had a rough day or whatever.

Becca George: 00:20:16

And then I'm also drawn towards men that are not always the most healthy for me.

Becca George: 00:20:20

So those are the two things that I really have a difficult time with.

Becca George: 00:20:23

And I have to pray every single day about them both.

Becca George: 00:20:26

And, yeah, I have to stay on top of that.

Becca George: 00:20:28

I have accountability partners.

Becca George: 00:20:30

I have therapists.

Becca George: 00:20:31

I have coaches.

Becca George: 00:20:32

I have people who are asking me, hey, where.

Becca George: 00:20:34

How's your food intake?

Becca George: 00:20:35

How's your relationship with food?

Becca George: 00:20:36

How's your relationship with men?

Becca George: 00:20:38

Because those are the two areas in which I fall backwards pretty easily.

: 00:20:41

Thank you for the transparency and the vulnerability there.

: 00:20:44

Because I think it's going to.

: 00:20:45

I agree with you.

: 00:20:46

It's a superpower.

: 00:20:47

And I think it really.

: 00:20:47

It helps a lot of people.

: 00:20:49

Yeah, it really does.

Becca George: 00:20:50

So thank you for that scary point of coach.

Becca George: 00:20:52

Right.

Becca George: 00:20:52

Because people think that you're supposed to have it all together and you're supposed to be the person who's already arrived, and they don't ever struggle with that anymore.

Becca George: 00:20:58

And it's just not realistic.

Becca George: 00:21:00

Those other people just don't share that.

Becca George: 00:21:01

They just don't talk about it.

: 00:21:03

So why do you think that?

: 00:21:04

Why do you think that they don't share about that?

Becca George: 00:21:06

Because there's so much judgment around it.

Becca George: 00:21:08

I remember there was a post that I was paying a coach for a while, a lot of money, A lot of money.

Becca George: 00:21:13

And I posted about a moment of weakness and sadness that I had where some of my trauma triggers came back up.

Becca George: 00:21:20

And I said, I posted this picture of a broken plate, and I said, this is how I feel tonight.

Becca George: 00:21:24

Many pieces, all scattered across the floor.

Becca George: 00:21:27

And my coach sent me a message, and he said, becca, you need to take that post down right now.

Becca George: 00:21:32

And I said, why is that?

Becca George: 00:21:33

And he said, no one is going to pay you to coach them when they think you're a hot mess.

Becca George: 00:21:38

Take it down.

Becca George: 00:21:39

And I refused.

Becca George: 00:21:40

I said, no, I'm not going to, because there's already been three people that reached out to me and said, wow, I thought that you had it all together.

Becca George: 00:21:46

And here you are saying that you also are broken.

Becca George: 00:21:48

That helps me feel like I can share about it.

Becca George: 00:21:50

And that was really hard for me because he continued for days, and he said, I won't work with you if you won't listen to my advice.

Becca George: 00:21:56

Do you want to make money or do you not?

Becca George: 00:21:58

And I was like, this isn't just about money.

Becca George: 00:22:00

It's also about impact.

Becca George: 00:22:01

And so I think it's that type of thing.

Becca George: 00:22:02

Whether someone's open and actually says that, or if there's just the illusion of judgment, it's that fear that comes from specifically when you're in the limelight, when you're in the light, when you are on as a coach, it's very.

Becca George: 00:22:14

A lot of judgment.

: 00:22:15

So then with your past, with the shame and with the falling and all those things, how do you deal with those judgment and those trolls?

Becca George: 00:22:21

Oh, it's so hard for me because it really does make me feel like, oh, there's these people that are judging me and they're saying that I'm not good enough and that I'm not there.

Becca George: 00:22:29

And so I have to constantly bring these things to the feet of our Lord and say, God, this is how I feel.

Becca George: 00:22:34

But the thing is that our feelings are not facts.

Becca George: 00:22:36

Our feelings are always valid, but our feelings are not always true.

Becca George: 00:22:38

And a lot of times our feelings bully us into believing something that isn't true.

Becca George: 00:22:43

And so I'll say, I feel this way.

Becca George: 00:22:45

And then I have to be reminded of what God's truth says, that there is.

Becca George: 00:22:48

There is freedom in.

Becca George: 00:22:49

In truth, right?

Becca George: 00:22:50

And so that the truth sets us free.

Becca George: 00:22:52

And so I'm not going to hide from that truth.

Becca George: 00:22:55

And so I really just have to constantly remind myself, just because I feel this way doesn't make it true.

Becca George: 00:22:59

And the second part of it is that those people have their own issues, right?

Becca George: 00:23:03

I also had a coach tell me not long ago, you can either talk about God or you can make money, but you can't do both.

Becca George: 00:23:10

He said, there's no way that you're gonna.

Becca George: 00:23:11

You're gonna get at least 50% of people who don't want to work with you because you talk about God.

Becca George: 00:23:16

And I struggled with that for a while, and then I had to come to this place where I was like, they have their own pain, and that is what they're projecting onto me.

Becca George: 00:23:22

This actually has nothing to do me.

Becca George: 00:23:25

This is their own internal struggle that they have that they're projecting onto me.

Becca George: 00:23:28

So that's the other piece of it, is realizing it rarely has anything to do with you.

: 00:23:32

So sad fact, I was told the same thing.

: 00:23:35

Don't work with Christians because you will pigeonhole yourself and you will never make money.

Becca George: 00:23:39

Yep.

: 00:23:40

And then yesterday, I see a statistic from a guy I follow in the AI space.

: 00:23:44

He said because he's also a Christian, he's.

: 00:23:46

And I'm gonna have him on the podcast as well.

: 00:23:48

He says right now there are 180 million entrepreneurs that recognize themselves as Christians.

: 00:23:55

I think I take 1% of that.

: 00:23:56

That'd be all right.

Becca George: 00:23:57

Absolutely, yes.

Becca George: 00:23:59

And the thing is that God, when God calls you to something, he's going to provide.

Becca George: 00:24:02

Like, think about the times in the Bible where, you know, he used ravens, like the nastiest, dirtiest birds.

Becca George: 00:24:07

Right.

Becca George: 00:24:08

To feed people, and he used, like, prostitutes, and he used the worst of the things and the people to be, you know, to take care of us.

Becca George: 00:24:15

Right.

Becca George: 00:24:16

And so who says that we have to make money the same way that the world does?

Becca George: 00:24:20

God says that he is our provision.

Becca George: 00:24:21

Right.

Becca George: 00:24:22

So we don't have to worry about that stuff.

Becca George: 00:24:23

Stuff.

: 00:24:23

I'm right with you.

: 00:24:24

You preach, just start.

: 00:24:25

Start throwing offerings and stuff.

: 00:24:26

It's gonna start preaching, running around and stuff.

Becca George: 00:24:28

Yes.

: 00:24:28

So as we are now coming to the end of this, which has been an incredible conversation, so thank you for hanging out with us today here on Grace in the Grind.

: 00:24:37

And I like to do two things.

: 00:24:40

The first one being if you were, I do the hashtag wisdom bomb, which, if you follow my profiles, guys, you guys who are listening, lead with Jim, Facebook, and all those things I do a day, almost a daily hashtag, winsthewisdombomb.

: 00:24:53

And what that is just a short statement of some truth I've learned over the years, whether it be experience, thought process, or some of my.

: 00:25:01

My travelings and musings.

: 00:25:02

So with that being said, Becca, what wisdom bomb would you leave for our audience?

Becca George: 00:25:07

Yeah, so I have a tagline, and it says, there's no hiding and healing.

Becca George: 00:25:11

And so for me, I would just encourage the listeners to find something that makes them feel a little scared about the vulnerability.

Becca George: 00:25:18

Vulnerability is a superpower, like I said.

Becca George: 00:25:20

And so leaning into that, and instead of running away and saying I want to go hide like fear says to do.

Becca George: 00:25:26

I really want to encourage someone to.

Becca George: 00:25:27

Even if it's something small or if it's something that makes you feel ashamed, but you call one person that you trust and you say, hey, I just want to talk about this.

Becca George: 00:25:35

I was abused.

Becca George: 00:25:36

Or hey, I just want to talk about this.

Becca George: 00:25:37

I made this decision.

Becca George: 00:25:38

I cheated on my wife.

Becca George: 00:25:39

I cheated on my spouse.

Becca George: 00:25:40

I did something that I have to bring to light because there is power in bringing it to light.

Becca George: 00:25:46

There is just power in that.

Becca George: 00:25:47

And so I just would encourage someone to step outside of hiding and into that healing piece.

: 00:25:52

That's good.

: 00:25:53

That's really good.

: 00:25:54

So if people want to find you, how do we find you to connect with you greater?

Becca George: 00:25:57

Yeah.

Becca George: 00:25:58

So find me on Facebook.

Becca George: 00:25:59

Becca George is Becca with a K B E K A H George.

Becca George: 00:26:03

That's probably where I'm going to be the most.

Becca George: 00:26:05

So you can find me there.

Becca George: 00:26:06

You can also find me on Instagram at the real Becca Dawn.

Becca George: 00:26:10

I'm also really active on TikTok, but that's more about my dating stories and struggles.

Becca George: 00:26:15

hat is this is why I'm single: 2020

Becca George: 00:26:18

You're welcome to find me on any of those platforms.

: 00:26:20

And so for you guys are the listeners, if you made it this far, we will have all of that in the show notes and all the links.

: 00:26:25

So that makes it super easy for you to just go click.

: 00:26:28

Highly recommend that you follow Becca.

: 00:26:31

Obviously through the conversation.

: 00:26:32

You've heard how amazing she is.

: 00:26:34

She's a real one.

: 00:26:35

Definitely go take a moment to follow her tick tock and connect with her through her socials.

: 00:26:40

And with that being said, I just want to thank every single one of you guys for listening to Grace in the Grind.

: 00:26:45

This is where we focus on the Christian entrepreneur and we just want to equip, empower and to encourage you to do all that God's called you to here on Grace in the Grind.

: 00:26:54

And so with that being said, why don't you hit on to the next episode or maybe an episode you've already you haven't gotten before.

: 00:27:00

Look, go ahead and take those out and we'll talk to you on the next one.

Jim Burgoon: 00:27:03

This has been Grace in the Grind.

Jim Burgoon: 00:27:06

Whether you're a Christian leader looking for guidance or an entrepreneur seeking inspiration, it Jim's passion to equip and encourage you.

Jim Burgoon: 00:27:14

Make sure to check out Jim's solo episodes where he shares practical leadership insights grounded in a biblical perspective.

Jim Burgoon: 00:27:22

We hope you've enjoyed the show.

Jim Burgoon: 00:27:24

If you did, make sure to like rate and review and we'll be back soon.

Jim Burgoon: 00:27:29

But in the meantime, find us on social media LeadWithJim, and you can also hit the website at www.take care of yourself and we'll see you next time on Grace in the Grind.